Dear Nathan,
So I was looking over my old emails that we exchanged way back in 2003 when I was at Millar, and I am compelled to tell you how I feel. I can’t believe that it has been over seven years since that time. I also can’t believe everything that has happened in the past years…
Where to start…
First off I want to say thank you for the friendship back then. I don’t know if I ever told you just how much your friendship meant. I thank you for the support of many years, for encouraging me and allowing God to use you to do so. You and Renee as well as a few others were the vessels that God used to help me to not only get to Millar but to make it through a year of Bible College. One thing I remember that you said along time ago was that “years from now, you will know why you were there” Well I can say now that I totally understand what you meant back then. I just took a Greek class at the Baptist Church (the church I attend now) and was amazed of a lot of things I took at school came back to me. It was really encouraging to know that even though it was along time ago I did learn things at Millar and could recall them. It was also a reassurance that I was suppose to go there. I gained so much more that at the time I had no idea, but years from then I understand and am very thankful.
Secondly, I am not proud of some of the things I have done in the past years. I am sad that I have lost some very important people in my life. But I am also learning that sometimes people are just meant to come into ones life for a season. That season can be long or short, but in the end it was suppose to be that way. God will continue to put new people into your lives or teach you the valuable lessons if you just allow Him. When I think back to the things I am not proud of I can’t say that they shouldn’t have happened. I believe that everything happens for a reason and that God is always there. I have learned some very valuable lessons. One is to never take things for granted; most importantly that is your faith. A person may look and act the part, but if they are not living it 100% then it really is a waste and they are only lying to God, and in the end God will judge them accordingly.
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
Simple Things
There are somethings in life that sort of blow my mind, but not blow my mind in a bizarre kind of way, its more of wow thats really cool.
One thing is how sometimes when I try to complicated things in the end they only really are meant to be simple, and the simpler I leave them in the end the easier they are. Like last nite for instance at youth, I didn't really spend a lot of time on the Bible Study just quickly got some information about Lent to explain to the kids basically what it is about. It was really neat how they tend to grasp information in there own little way and ask questions. I love how it makes me think and reminds me in a way what it is like to be in grade 6 or 7 again, and how I don't have to do a really elaberate study. The first time I did the Bible Study I focused on Psalm 139 and just how God is always there for them, and it was really simple and I could see the light in there eyes and it was the first time they prayed outloud, so neat.
Another simple thing is noticing the beauty of nature and everything that goes around it. Like coming home at nite and looking up and seeing the stars and just being awestruck by how stars are always there even when I don't notice them. Or the sound of the snow crunching underneath my feet.
Or speaking of snow how the other day, A and I went to Walmart and he was catching snowflakes in his mouth and had this thing with saying u look at one far away and then try to catch it in your mouth. It looked so funny, but it was the simple joy of trying to get something that wasn't impossible, but wasn't overly easy.
Its the simple things that I think as I get older its looked down upon, but yet in my mind I don't care as much what people think, because who says we can't do certain things anymore. Like going to a park and playing on the swings, or going to the toy department and playing with the toys. Or a few of my favorite things, bubbles, i love blowing bubbles and watching them float off, its especially great outside, they just sort of carry and go on there own way. I like Kool-aid, especially red and purple. I was sad when the Capital 4 Theatre closed cuz they had Kool-aid and I could drink it during a movie. I rented a movie on Saturday and got a Kool-aid slush, it it was.. well.. pretty great, and simple!!
One thing is how sometimes when I try to complicated things in the end they only really are meant to be simple, and the simpler I leave them in the end the easier they are. Like last nite for instance at youth, I didn't really spend a lot of time on the Bible Study just quickly got some information about Lent to explain to the kids basically what it is about. It was really neat how they tend to grasp information in there own little way and ask questions. I love how it makes me think and reminds me in a way what it is like to be in grade 6 or 7 again, and how I don't have to do a really elaberate study. The first time I did the Bible Study I focused on Psalm 139 and just how God is always there for them, and it was really simple and I could see the light in there eyes and it was the first time they prayed outloud, so neat.
Another simple thing is noticing the beauty of nature and everything that goes around it. Like coming home at nite and looking up and seeing the stars and just being awestruck by how stars are always there even when I don't notice them. Or the sound of the snow crunching underneath my feet.
Or speaking of snow how the other day, A and I went to Walmart and he was catching snowflakes in his mouth and had this thing with saying u look at one far away and then try to catch it in your mouth. It looked so funny, but it was the simple joy of trying to get something that wasn't impossible, but wasn't overly easy.
Its the simple things that I think as I get older its looked down upon, but yet in my mind I don't care as much what people think, because who says we can't do certain things anymore. Like going to a park and playing on the swings, or going to the toy department and playing with the toys. Or a few of my favorite things, bubbles, i love blowing bubbles and watching them float off, its especially great outside, they just sort of carry and go on there own way. I like Kool-aid, especially red and purple. I was sad when the Capital 4 Theatre closed cuz they had Kool-aid and I could drink it during a movie. I rented a movie on Saturday and got a Kool-aid slush, it it was.. well.. pretty great, and simple!!
Saturday, February 20, 2010
Untitled
Somewhere in the shadows,
I long to feel something I haven't felt before
Something that would bring me the peace and joy I long to feel
The softness of your breath, the closeness of your touch
The knowing you want want me more than I can ever imagine
When all I want is a glimpts of that.
I long to feel something I haven't felt before
Something that would bring me the peace and joy I long to feel
The softness of your breath, the closeness of your touch
The knowing you want want me more than I can ever imagine
When all I want is a glimpts of that.
February 10, 2010
Friday, February 5, 2010
A Window Into the World
A window in the world...
Take an ORDINARY day with ORDINARY people and ask yourself how ORDINARY is it really.
Everyone is the same.. but when u look closer you will see that they are all different, not as ORDINARY as u may think or see.
Walk a day in someone elses shoes and you will realize things u never thought before. U will realize that the person sitting all alone has more friends then the seemingly popular girls gosiping in the corner. U will notice that the person who smiles all the time really goes home and cries themselves to sleep every night. Or the person that may look sad is really the happiest person out there.
When you look will see that people are still the same. They all long to be loved whether by a signifiant other, or something else like a dog. Everyone longs to be wanted, to feel needed even if its just the simple thing of you having to feed the fish and knowing the fish will die if you forget to feed them its all on you.
Everyone also has fears that haunt them in the night even if your not aware of them. They could be something like dying or the fear of the unknown or fearing you'll be alone forever. Either way everyone has fears and its something that now one ever talks about. You should be able to talk to the stranger and say "what are you afraid of" and have them answer honestly, but nope they would look at you like your the crazy one for wanting to understand ur fears.
Its not really and ORDINARY day really, cuz when you take a look at someone and somethings, you will realize that ordianary doesnt really exsist.
Take an ORDINARY day with ORDINARY people and ask yourself how ORDINARY is it really.
Everyone is the same.. but when u look closer you will see that they are all different, not as ORDINARY as u may think or see.
Walk a day in someone elses shoes and you will realize things u never thought before. U will realize that the person sitting all alone has more friends then the seemingly popular girls gosiping in the corner. U will notice that the person who smiles all the time really goes home and cries themselves to sleep every night. Or the person that may look sad is really the happiest person out there.
When you look will see that people are still the same. They all long to be loved whether by a signifiant other, or something else like a dog. Everyone longs to be wanted, to feel needed even if its just the simple thing of you having to feed the fish and knowing the fish will die if you forget to feed them its all on you.
Everyone also has fears that haunt them in the night even if your not aware of them. They could be something like dying or the fear of the unknown or fearing you'll be alone forever. Either way everyone has fears and its something that now one ever talks about. You should be able to talk to the stranger and say "what are you afraid of" and have them answer honestly, but nope they would look at you like your the crazy one for wanting to understand ur fears.
Its not really and ORDINARY day really, cuz when you take a look at someone and somethings, you will realize that ordianary doesnt really exsist.
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